Some of the worst state mottoes:

Kentucky had two, one promoting it's mediocrity: "Oh Kentucky, You'll come to love it!" That sounds like they're just trying to set you up for disappointment, or get you to have really low expectations so you'll be pleasantly surprised. The other one: "The uncommon wealth of Kentucky" (get it, because they're the Commonwealth of Kentucky?" just gives me the heebie-jeebies for some reason. Like uncommon wealth in what, NECROMANCY?

There was a really bad Tennessee one too...thinking...

I had to go back and look it up in the boxes of maps. "Tennessee...Sounds good to me!" Like we're driving down the highway not knowing where to go, our options are Alabama, Missippi, Kentucky, etc...Meh, we'll take what's left over. Tennessee sounds good enough. I guess. Fail.

Grrrrr...

The Washington Center is the organization that is running my internship program. It is a DOT/government funded program, but TWC handles all of the logistics. So they are in charge of our paychecks. I submitted everything for direct deposit weeks ago, but all the interns had to pick up their first check in person. At the TWC office. Which is oh so very far from the closest metro station. At least it's a nice neighborhood. So at the orientation, one of the program advisors told all of us that they would be able to stay open a little late for a couple of days so interns could come pick up their checks. He also said that for the interns living in the TWC residential facility (where I'm living), somone wuld be able to drop off their checks with the concierge. Awesome.

So here we are yesterday on check day. I work every day all the hours the TWC office is open, so I'm counting on being able to get the check at my bldg or go late one day to the office. I hadn't heard anything about that though, so I emailed both my advisor and the advisor who had made the above statements to ask about it. They both reply and so "Nope, sorry, you have to come between 9:00 and 5:30. NO LATER. WE WILL NOT BE HERE. And we can't take them to the building you stay at. All of this is for SECURITY REASONS!!!" Me: "But you said...!" Them: "WE LIED!!!". Ok, that's fine, I worked over on Monday, and I took a short lunch today (which, remember, in the story is really Tuesday, not Wednesday like today really is), so I'm fine to leave a little early. I figure I'll leave at 5, metro up to Dupont, and walk over, figuring I would make it right on time. Wrong. I got to Dupont right at 5:25, and then still had a walk of about 6-7 blocks, which for some reason took forever. I did pass the founding church of Scientology on the way though, so now I know where it is when I make my visit. So I got to the door (dripping sweat, I'm sure, because I was attempting to book it, but the air was so thick and disgusting that I could barely manage a brisk walk), but the door was closed, and there was another girl just standing in front of it looking forlorn, so I assumed I was too late, they were closed. BUT THEN! The door opened, and she walked in, so I rushed to grab the door before it closed. Inside the very nice newly redone foyer (so this is what all the undergrads' $10,000 for a summer term is going to!) (seriously, $10,000!), I stood and waited for someone to come. Finally, someone did, and I told her I was there to pick up my check. "Ok, but if you come again, remember we close at 5:30, I'm only here now because we have an event tonight." Smarmy lady. Seriously. Do you not see my sweaty face? Is it not clear that I was doing all I could to make it by 5:30? AND, for all their talk about security, when I started pulling out my wallet and asked "Do you need to see ID?", she replied "Oh, I probably should have been asking for ID from all the other people who came to pick up their checks. How about this, just to check that you're you, what's your first name? Hahahahahaha just kidding" In that moment I wanted to just smack her smug little face. I'm so mean. So I got my check, had a nice leisurely walk back to the station, and went home. End of frustration? NO. The TWC had one final jab for m this morning when I got to work and received this email from my advisor:

"Hi All –
I will be at DOT today for office hours from 11-noon in room E63-124. If you have not already picked up your pay check I can bring it to you. But you MUST respond to this email and let me know that you want me to sign it out and bring it to you. I will only be there from 11-noon so please make sure you come during that time.
Nicole"

You have GOT. TO BE KIDDING ME. After all the back and forth I had with her about how hard it was going to be to get my check, she waits until the last minute to announce that this was an option? All my frustration. FOR NOTHING.

The Weepies

Not the best performance, but this has been (and will continue to be) one of my favorite songs for a very long time. It just...feels right. Like everything is ok in the world.

ALSO

This was the ...sign? logo? that I made for my shop on etsy in which I am selling nothing. AT LEAST I'M READY, OK?

I wish it had a bird in a tree in it, but I'm not that talented with computer art programs.

I should probably wait until the good camera charges so I can take some better pictures of this, but I'm very impatient, and I need an opinion now. NOW. I'm making a book for a friend's wedding and I can't settle on the color of book cloth to use. And yes I realize that there may be some of you that warrant such a gift, but this is a recent trend and I'll get around to it.

Anyways, her colors are burgandy and pink and ivory (I think) and I found this pretty japanese paper that was the best combination of all of those. I originally bought ivory cloth to go with it.

I also bought some red cloth that (in real life) pretty exactly matches the burgundy/red color in the paper. I actually bought it for the book I'll be making for Craig and Nicole's wedding (yes, to all those of you who don't know, which shouldn't be any of you, Craig's getting married. I'm officially a spinster).

But then, on another trip to Paper Source in a different location, I bought some different cloth that I actually like better for Craig and Nicole's book, but which I realized also looks kind of fabulous with this paper for this book. It's a little darker than the other red and is very shiny, more like a satin-type cloth that the matte basic coarser weave of the first two choices (and of typical bookcloth for you bookbinders).

And now I have too many choices and I can't decide. The ivory might be nice, but as it's ivory and get's dirty easily, I would make the case out of one of the red cloths. Or should I just choose one of the reds and do that for the whole thing? But which red? I DON'T KNOW. I do like the color of the first red better, it matches more exactly, but the finish of the second one is so much prettier. Or is red too bold and I should just stick with ivory?

Or be boring and go with black or brown. Or natural. Or purple ooooooo.

Usually I am awesome with these things, but this paper isn't something I would choose on my own (though I know she'll love it) so I don't know what would work best.

Edit: And actually after publishing this post, these pictures are just too crappy. I will try and take some better ones tomorrow. Phones aren't good cameras. Go figure.

I'm losing my mind

Tonight I was doing a bunch of random stuff that I needed to get done, so I had the tv on in the background. It was on TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress" because you KNOW I'm an absolute junkie for pretty things, and what's prettier than designer wedding gowns? After a couple of episodes the dismal reality show "4 Weddings" came on (four brides attend eachother's weddings and then judge them and the winner gets a honeymoon). I was kind of focused so I didn't change the channel. I went on with my stuff. A couple of hours later, the episodes had cycled through. When I realized I was sitting there staring at the same episode of "4 Weddings" AGAIN, I realized something was seriously wrong. Or it was bed time. Yes I'm lame.

I think I posted about this earlier, but I was going to take an internship this summer at a national lab in WV. It wasn't the ideal internship I had been hoping for, but it was really good nonetheless. Then, after I had already accepted and turned in all my paperwork (because the due date was approaching and at the time it was the only offer I had received), I got a phone interview and several hours later an offer for another internship in DC. It also wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for, but was a good opportunity. So I had two great internships that I was kind of indifferent about, and I spent two and a half days in frantic prayers and fasting trying to decide which was right (because apparently I was taking this decision very seriously...I'm not sure why I was so worked up about it at the time). True to past form, I didn't really receive an answer and was about to reply to DC and accept (I received the offer on Wednesday and had to accept by close of business on Friday). So I composed an email in my phone accepting the DC internship around 2 pm on Friday and was about to send it, but I still didn't feel completely convinced, so I decided to wait until the last possible minute, just in case I received a 24 style high drama answer. Because 24 is exactly like the gospel. I distinctly remember composing the email sitting in my car, and I had my thumb on the "send" button and was just about to send it but I just felt something saying "hey just wait a little while longer". Then, at 4:30, just as I was walking into Hobby Lobby, I got a call. It was from the director of the National Transportation Library offering me an internship in the archives there. This was exactly the internship that I had been hoping for and had despaired of getting. She didn't even take time to talk to me and conduct any sort of interview before offering me the position (desperate for cheap labor? I don't even care) , and she sounded incredibly excited that I was available and interested. Have you ever had an interview that went really well, and you wer excited, and you could tell that they were excited, and you just felt that click? I hope so, because it's a great feeling, but that's the way this was. I am so excited that I got the internship that I wanted, which will give me some desperately needed archival experience, and it's in DC, and housing is free (to me anyways...your tax dollars at work :) ), and it's paid, and I have something to do this summer that doesn't involve manual labor. Talk about high drama answers. I was in the "well maybe he's telling me that I need to make my own decision because they're both good or maybe I'll receive confirmation afterwards" mode. Which is not a bad mode, but I love the "hey maybe I haven't answered you because there's an even BETTER option just around the corner- just be patient" mode SOOOO much more.

Of course now it's coming up soon so my terror is increasing daily because I just GET REALLY NERVOUS, OK?!??

Anyways, it was exciting. The gospel is true.

Flipping channels this afternoon I was really excited to see Bill Nye on tv again. Granted, it was as a guest on the stupid Dr. Oz show, but still, Bill Nye the sciece guy!!! Mostly, that bought me back to 6th grade when I had the most adorable science teacher in the entire world. She was only my teacher for the first half of the year and then she left to go to grad school at Georgetown. She was probably the age I am now or a little younger, as cute as Emma from Glee with adorable hair and a sweetly retro wardrobe. She was excited about science, had slight deafness (and a small speech impediment because of it). She also had a huge celebrity crush on Bill Nye. She would talk about it anytime we watched one of his videos (which, because of her love fo him, was rather often). She was honestly just one of the cutest, sweetest people I can remember meeting, and I hope that all her wildest dreams came true (except maybe the one where she became Bill's wife). Here's to you, Ms. (insert name here- I don't remember, ok!?).

Quote of the week

"I blame Beyonce for everything that goes wrong in my life"

-Anthony from "Project Runway"

Sound thinking, Anthony. You're my hero.

I LOVE CLUTCHES! They're so chic. And I want this one.

MOHMMH

For a few months now, I have been volunteering at the National Medal of Honor Museum of Military History (whew!). Once a week, I help out at the museum archives. For the last few weeks, I've been working on the task of culling excess material out of the museum's files. They keep a file for each Medal of Honor winner (or most of them...there are around 3500) with general information like photos, medal citations (the certificate or declaration from Congress stating the reason for the award), articles, correspondence, etc... Basically anything that's not an actual artifact that is stored elsewhere in the archives. Now, I have no idea who the person was that created these files, but I'm not sure what they were thinking. Apparently that there would be lots of demand for information on these people, because in each file there are multiple copies of EVERYTHING. 6-10 copies of photos, citations, multiple original clippings of articles, blah blah blah. Basically, just buckets of unnecessary stuff. So anyways, I'm combing through,pulling out the extras, getting rid of anything that doesn't belong there, and making sure everything's in the right order (because apparently that person didn't know the alphabet either).

Anyways, the point of this is to tell you just how interesting this has been for me. I am NOT in any way a military history buff. Or any kind of history buff. It's interesting, sure, but I'd rather read fiction than non, and I've seen more battlefields than I'll ever remember. I leave that to the men in my family. They're all in the Army (some on purpose, some by accident of fate), they're all ridiculously bright, and they all love history. Even my mom, with her graveyard and family history obsession, falls right in with them. So when I first started working at the archives, I felt a bit out of place. I'm just there to get some exposure to the field, everyone else that volunteers there is a veteran, over 50, and has lived through, not to mention studied, far more history than I. It's actually kind of fun because when there are more than 3 of them in a room they all reminisce about the crazy things they did as children (filling discarded hypodermics with gasoline and lighting it for an impromptu flame-thrower) and talk about how surprised they are they made it to adulthood. It's absolutely delightful.

So my lack of knowledge in this area is the reason I'm so excited to be going through each of these files. With each one, I get to see the faces of war heroes from eras past, read their spectacular stories, and learn a little bit more about that side of American history with each one. My favorite part are the items that personalize the stories: photos, letters, even just a signature.

It's also, honestly, quite heartbreaking. Many of the medals were awarded posthumously. In some of these cases, instead of a photo of the soldier in the file, there is a photo of his loved ones at the presentation ceremony. In these photos, the president awarding the medal is invariably ecstatic, clearly impressed by the example of these men, and appreciative of the opportunity to honor them in this small way (It's really cute actually, most of the ones from WWII, which also actually make up most of the medal winners, are president Truman, and he is just beaming. In the ones awarded while the soldier was alive, they usually show him hugging the soldier or holding him about an arm's length away while he talks to the soldier. I'll paste a pic below). In the posthumous awards though, the faces of the families, tell a different story. I have not seen one that is smiling. While I am sure they are grateful for the example of their lost son or husband or brother or father, their grief and pain at his loss is strongest for them, and it is so clear on their faces. These photos hurt the most. They show that, no matter how high the honor, there is nothing that can repay their sacrifice.

So every day that I go in there, my fingers get a little dirtier with newsprint. My knowledge bank grows a little bit more. My heart hurts a little bit more. But most of all, I gain more respect and understanding for the kind of man who would knowingly sacrifice himself to save his friends. That's what keeps me going back.





(the soldier in this photo is Desmond Doss, and I'm going to tell you his story because it's amazing. He's actually from my area! Anyways, he was the only conscientious objector to win the medal in WWII. He was Adventist and refused to carry a weapon or fight or work on his sabbath (Saturday). So he got a position as a medic with a unit stationed near Okinawa. One day, his unit got in a bit of trouble, and he was the only medic left. He agreed to come help as soon as he finished his scripture study (bless!), and arrived to find his unit on a high cliff with no escape but down the cliff. He waited, under fire, and used a rope to lower 75 (75!) other people to safety. Only when all were safe did he leave his post and seek safety himself. There are also a couple of other incidents where he rushed in to treat mortally wounded soldiers in incredibly dangerous situations, and continuing treatment even after he himself was wounded.)

Some brilliant person scheduled the new season of Glee for the same night and time as Lost. I am NOT a fan.

This video is ridiculous in every way possible, and so is the song now that I think of it, but I LOVE it. Everyone should listen to it. But not too closely.

Also, there's no way to embed this in a way that fits the center column and doesn't overlap into the sidebar (I know you're sad you can't see all the tabs). Youtube fail.

Today I was switching purses because, you know, it's a new season, and I felt like a change. Even if I'm just switching back to the giant grey thing I carried all last winter. Anyways, I was transferring the "essentials", and I realized something ridiculous. My purse "essentials" include SIX DIFFERENT TYPES OF LIP GLOSS. Excessive much? I think so. But really not- you see, sometimes you want color (that's what the Clinique and Lancome are for), sometimes you just want shine (B&BW, and Estee Lauder), sometimes you want sparkle, which is different than shine (MAC), and sometimes you want the minty freshness of B&BW mentha lip gloss. I can't kick any of them out. I must be prepared for any and all potential lip situations.

So probably no one cares about this, but I just say the most impressive presentation I can remember. Today, in my digital libraries class, we started presentations of the two final projects. The projects were 1) report on an existing digital library, and 2) use the open source digital library program "Greenstone" to build your own digital library. Most of the projects are similar to mine, people have have little idea of what they're doing with the new software. BUT one student got it in a way which I can never hope to understand. The collection I built (and everyone else's) was very basic, mostly just a list of items, not much metadata (identifying information) or organization. Which is fine, that meets the requirements. This guy though, took it above and beyond, creating multiple access points for each item, so his collection is searchable by title, author, genre, blah blah blah. The items are presented in tables (noooo idea how he did that) and all his analysis was just above and beyond. We were all blown away, having communal text chat head explosion while he was presenting. I want to be him.

I was really grateful for conference this past weekend. In the Sunday afternoon session, I was sitting there, mind wandering, thinking (of all things) about Mary and Martha. The story of Martha being "cumbered about with many things" has always frustrated me (a few thoughts on that- many people demonize Martha for not dropping everything and joining her sister at the Savior's feet. I think that this is not the correct interpretation for the incident. Mary was doing what she thought best. Martha was serving others in the way she thought best [they had to eat, right?]. How can we possibly fault someone for performing a small but necessary service? I feel that the rebuke came to her not because of her choice of activity, but because of her momentary loss of focus. For a moment, instead of focusing on her act of service, she was overwhelmed by the unfairness of the situation and focused more on her sister's actions than her own. I take this story as an admonition to maintain focus and monitor my own motives instead of worrying about the motives of others). I was thinking about a friend and how this story applied to her situation, and then (I'm not sure on this, but I think it was) Elder Schweitzer stood up, not 5 minutes after I started following this mental thread and began to talk about Mary and Martha. Everything else aside, it was a very simple tender mercy- more of a spiritual nudge, really- showing me that I and my concerns are not unnoticed. Just something to say "hey, I know you're there", which is little enough, but, you know, timely and wonderful.

I'm Oprah.

I use Google Reader to keep up with my blog reading. Obviously, that never goes all that well since I often go weeks or months without checking it (mostly because I know that when I log back in, I'll be met with daunting hoards of unread entries). That being said, I still love Reader because it makes my life so much simpler. I love you Google. With all of my tiny, shriveled heart.

Here are some things I've been enjoying recently (some of which I just barely remembered that I loved):

1. The Sartorialist is an amazing blog by sales rep turned accidental fashion photographer Scott Schuman. It started simply as a place to post photos of people he met around town whose style he admired, and not long after was included by Time magazine as one of today's 100 top design influencers. Now, obviously I am no style hound. What I love about this blog is the simplicity of his portraits: usually a lone person standing on a downtown street (most often in NYC, Paris, or Milan), without artificial lighting, some posed, some candid, and always inspiring. I do love this London girl though- she has a muff!



2. Picture Stories by Stephen Alvarez is another great photography blog (weird, I'm seeing an unexpected trend. Maybe it's time to start a new hobby) that I found one dry summer day in Utah when look for a picture of perfect, foggy, rolling smoky mountain-y Tennessee to put on my desktop. The winner was one of Mr. Alvarez', who (as I found after exploring his blog) lives a short distance away from me (hence the lovingly rendered portraits of Tennessee). Apparently he's a photographer for National Geographic, with an interest in cave photography (especially when said caves contain water, which results in ridiculously dangerous situations I imagine, but spectacular photos). Browse around, there are some really fascinating photo essays, and lots of what I'm sure is great discussion about the business of being a photographer (which I usually skip over because, hello, I have no idea what he and his guest posters are talking about). Oh and yeah, some amazing photos.



3. DOCTOR WHO has been my official obsession for the last several months, but I've come to the end of available episodes (until Easter, when the new season with the new Doctor premieres). Netflix is both a blessing and a curse. Anyways, Doctor Who is the longest running sci-fi show on tv. Of course, it hasn't been consistently on the air since it debuted in the mid-60s, but it was recently revived (in 2004, I think) and has been going strong since then. From what I gather, it's something of a national obsession (if British morning news is to be believed) over there, but hasn't really gained as wide an audience here. Yet. If you like British humor, really terrible special effects, sometimes brilliant writing, or random unexpected guest appearances by people like Derek Jacobi (squeal!) or Kylie Minogue, you need to watch this spectacularly addicting show. Oh yeah, did I mention the geeky charm of David Tennant?


4. Finding out that Paper Source carries bookbinding supplies (board, cloth, tools, etc...). I'm not sure why I didn't realize this earlier, but in my defense, it IS rather hidden away on their site.

5. Potato tacos! When I was in California and in the throes of my obsession with Mexican food, I made these at least once a week, but haven't broken this out for years now They're so unexpected (before I ate real Mexican food, potatoes never crossed my mind as a filling for tacos). I usually use 3-4 potatoes, cooked till soft, and mixed with about 1/4-1/3 cup of shredded chicken. Toss in a couple of tablespoons of crema mexicana or sour cream if you can't find it (which is unlikely because even Walmart carries it) to hold it together, a couple of tablespoons of queso cotija (again, Walmart) which is basically Mexico's answer to parmesan cheese, some salt, some pepper, and smash it all together. Never use store-bought taco shells. They are the worst. Heat some oil in a skillet, fill corn tortillas with 2-3 tablespoons of your potato mixture (keeping it to the middle so it doesn't splatter in your eyes while they're cooking) and fry on both sides till brown. Serve with lettuce of chopped cilantro or salsa or whatever your heart desires. Just eat them. Authentic and delicious.

I don't have anything exciting to blog about right now.

Just a warning.

Last night I saw "Alice in Wonderland". I'm not really a fan of Tim Burton (or Helena Bonham Carter these days, except when she's ridiculous Bellatrix...or to be honest Johnny Depp, I'm not sure his career is going where he thinks it is right now) so I was not awaiting this premiere with baited breath, but you know how I love movies in general, and especially movies at midnight. They're just better.

That being said, I was really impressed. I was not creeped out as I thought I would be, it was hilarious, the costumes were insane (in the best way possible), the beasts were cuddly, the mouse carried around an eyeball for most of the movie, Mia Wasikowska has the cutest accent imaginable, Johnny Depp was...orange, Helena Bonham Carter had pigs and monkeys in place of table or chair legs, and...I want to watch it again already. Always a good sign.

So in summary, I'm mad they only had 3D and it cost me $13, but it was mostly worth that much.

All I write about these days are movies, I'm sorry. My life just isn't all that exciting. I dog-sit. I do homework. I have class on the internet (gag me). I sew. I have weekly Glee night. I gossip. I read. I volunteer. Have I written about that yet?

I started volunteering a while ago at two museums in the area. One, the National Medal of Honor Museum, has a separate archive where I spend a few hours each week. It's a tiny museum located in the local mall for the time being because the old location was a moldy flooded nightmare. The other, the Hunter Museum of American Art, is a larger, more financially sound institution where I work in the library each week. The main volunteer is Frances. She's been there for 30 years, is in her 80's, can't hear anything I say, and is rather charming. They still use a card catalog (which they are outgrowing...I keep wanting to tell them just to scrap it all and try something a bit more modern, but the curators prefer this...I have no idea why), and I do a bit of cataloging, book repair, filing, whatever. It's small but it's something to do.

I had a job interview the other day at a local college as a records clerk/counselor/something. It's one of the few I've had since I've been here, and actually went really really well. I dread job interviews. They usually go horribly, I can never think of good answers, and I always leave feeling completely stupid. This however, left me feeling brilliant. There were six people there to interview me (overkill? I think so...), which was ridiculously intimidating, but I managed to control my nervous shaking and present a calm exterior and give great answers to all the questions. I even made them laugh. It was wonderful. The thing is, I haven't heard back yet. It's been almost two weeks now. They warned that it would take a while, but I can't help but be nervous. They had 200 applicants, about 50 of whom had Master's degrees already. I suspect the only reason I got an interview was because I (apparently) know one of the administrators (I didn't even realize this until after I submitted the application, and to be honest, I didn't even remember applying or what in the world the job was when they called to set up the interview) but anyways, still waiting to hear back on that. It would really be ideal. I think that it would be similar in a lot of ways to working at IS. Only, obviously, it would pay much more.

BUT. Right now, I'm really unsure whether I even want this job or not. I have no idea what I would say if they called me tomorrow (which they won't because it's a Saturday) and offered me the job. Why? Because I've already been offered a paid internship this summer at the National Energy Technology Laboratory (heavens, what a mouthful) library. It's not really in the area I want to go into, but it's in an area of librarianship that is higher paying, and probably easier to get into. And, all that aside, it's experience (which I don't have, but need) and it pays real money (which I don't have, but need). If I took a full-time job right now, there is no way I could take ten weeks off this summer to live in West Virginia. Also, I've recently been to a national lab. And who mostly works in labs? Men. Attractive ones. So. Full-time job, temporary security, or no full-time job, start substitute teaching next week, and make myself more valuable to future employers. Which is more important. I have no idea. Please tell me.

So this post basically started off stupid, became inane, and just got really long.

Guess what? Spring break is next week. I HAVE A SPRING BREAK. Take that, world.

"Shutter Island"

quote of the day:

"If I sank my teeth into your eyeball, would you be able to stop me before I blinded you?"

Martin Scorsese, may I please send you a puppy or some sunflowers or something? Because your mind is clearly getting much too dark. And it scares me.

Also, your soundtrack is a little heavy handed. The final scene would have been much more effective if it was silent.

I made this new background with this program that I lurrrrve (http://mugtug.com/sketchpad/) but it only allows you to create images in one size, so I had to enlarge it so that it would fit in my background, but the resolution is quite low, so now it's all blurry and I don't know what to doooo.

Waa.

I feel like I should post more so that I can give my tags homes. So there's not just one post linked to each one. But that's probably the wrong reason to post. I don't really have anything interesting to say.

Yesterday was one of the coldest days of my life.
I wrote one paper yesterday, one today, and I'll have another one going tomorrow.
Just that, and there's really nothing missing to say, but...

little buddy what you want, some violent...

Dear calendar-

When I bought you, I had high hopes for the year. You were to inspire me to learn more about art nouveau, and feed my shamelessly romantic (in the traditional sense again, not the modern sense) leanings. So far, things aren't going too well for you. Luckily, a new month is coming soon, and you will have another chance to prove yourself. February can't come a moment too soon, because THIS just isn't cutting it.

Love,
Jessica.

So I was rereading an old post and I said I would post a video of Madea's crazy version of the bible when I found one. Well I found on, but it's not actually from the movie ("I can do bad all by myself") but from a play. So it's not quite as good, but I love the flow from story to story. watch it here!

Why do I have two blogs?! WHY?!?!?!

Dear What Not to Wear:

I'm REALLY glad you're starting a new season. I was getting really tired of watching the weepy ballerina episode over and over again. Some comments:

Stacy, lay off the Mystic Tan. Or, if you refuse, wear a darker shade of lipstick.

Clinton, I want to hug you and then pinch your cheeks. Never change.

Ted, I miss Nick. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?!

Carmindy, "tooken" is most decidedly not a word.

I just saw a commercial that quotes a review that called Twilight "the most romantic movie of the year."

What was this writer thinking? Seriously? Since when are stalking and staring creepily and looking like you're always in pain romantic? Exactly, THEY'RE NOT.

The most romantic movie of the year was, obviously, Bright Star.

Love, love, LOVE this coat from eshakti.com. Why don't I have more money?!

I'll accept your donations. Thank you.

50 Cent has written an autobiography. I want it.

Why does Bing taunt me?

I was sitting in my basement with ice cold toes, when I decided to see what Bing! brought up as its background today. I don't use Bing!, it's not the best search engine around, but I do like the background photo feature they use with links to interesting info about the photo. Check it out sometime, it's interesting. Anyways, this is what the first link I found said:




I added the highlights. Just so you wouldn't be confused. Yeah, I'm sweet. Right now my spell-checker is telling me I mis-spelled wouldn't. But I know I didn't. Maybe it's not a word. Oh no it flagged didn't too. Maybe it's a contraction thing. ANYWAYS, Bing! wants to make me suffer. Why else would it taunt me with a vacation to la Republica Dominicana when it knows I can't afford it.

I never understand this duvet cover from Ikea. I guess they're hoping to grab the coveted "I want all my bedlinens to have stylized pictures of pajamas on them" demographic. As far as i'm concerned, they can have it.

Yes I spend too much time browsing Ikea's website. Don't judge me.

Maybe I have a celebrity crush on Craig Ferguson. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he has a revolutionary war "JOIN or DIE" tattoo. If you're going to get a tattoo, that's a pretty good way to go. What's more hardcore than the revolution? That's right, nothing. I'd like to insert a shout out to John Adams here. Word.



And he's Scottish.

And one day, instead of his regular monologue, he did this.

Movie update!

Movies I've watched recently:


I don't think I've seen a more utterly delightful movie in recent years. It was (to list a few things) hilarious, heart-breaking, heart-felt, real, wonderful, hopeful, and a really really good use of my time. I recommend it to everyone I know, because I know that you will love it. Think Juno but not disgusting and way more positive. Not that Juno wasn't positive, because it had its moments, but mostly it was kind of meh. Definitely definitely watch Whip It



I'm still not entirely sure what to say about this movie. Not that I don't like it, because I do. A lot. I love it actually. But (a warning) it's not at all a piece of carefree period fluff. Bright Star tells the story of famous Romantic poet John Keats, and his fiance, Fanny Brawne. They meet when Keats is renting rooms from a Brawne family friend, and her concern for his sick brother draws them together. Their relationship anchors her, giving weight and importance to a life obsessed with fashion and flirting. It does the same for him, lifting him from a deep depression, and fueling not only his writing, but his will to live. He, unfortunately, is deep in debt and has no income to speak of, and so the two are unable to marry. He and others try to push Fanny to move on and find someone else, but she refuses to do so. They wait for three years, he contracts tuberculosis, travels to Italy for the warmer climate at the urging of his friends, and dies alone. This is not an unfamiliar story, but the way it's told is very unusual. There is nothing revolutionary about this film, what makes it exceptional is the painstaking craftsmanship that went into making it. John Keats and Fanny Brawne are not stereotypical characters locked in an ill-fated romance working towards a storybook ending. You come to know them intimately, you see them change, you know their backstory, you understand the outside forces acting on them, and you are allowed to know them in a way which few films permit. This understanding and empathy with them makes their story more personal and more powerful. It is careful, quiet, and utterly beautiful.



FAME (picture malfunction...I'm too lazy to replace it.)
It was a movie about a performing arts high school. Nothing that new or original. It was better then the first one, if only for the fact that this was rated PG while the original was R. Yeah, I'll download some of the songs, but I don't think I'll ever watch it again. It was fluff and fulfilled my entertainment needs at the time.




First of all, what a creepy poster. Second of all, Bruce Willis' surrogate looks really creepy. Lastly, it was better than Push but not as good as, say, the first Transformers. So good but not great. What I found most interesting was the commentary on how technology changes people's lives. The society in this movie had become completely insular. They stayed at home all the time, and never left as themselves. I think we see a measure of that today with the modern conveniences we enjoy. The point- please leave your house at least once a day, and don't ever have more aquaintances or friends online than you have in real life.

And yes, I just turned that silly movie ino a warning on how not to live your life. So there.




Meh. Some thoughts:
1. Adam Rodriguez is a VERY attractive man
2. Gladys Knight!!!
3. Taraji P. Henson was not anywhere near as good as I expected her to be (straight off of winning an Oscar for a 10-minute performance and all). But that's mostly the script's fault.
4. Madea gives the BEST summary of the bible I have ever heard. When I find a good clip, I'll post it.
5. Other than those things, this movie is complete crap. Good intentions poorly realized.
6. Did I mention Adam Rodriguez? 'Cause wow.



ALL ABOUT STEVE
Sandra Bullock is too old to play this character. I'm sorry, I really like her, but it's true. She just is. That being said, she's kind of sweet and sad (when she's not creepy and over-trusting). Probably don't waste your time, it's a little heavy on the awkward moments and just not that satisfying to watch. And her boots, the red boots she wears constantly, look like she bought them at a fetish shop an a seedy side street in downtown L.A. Not cute.




I'm really glad I decided to write this if only so that I could find this poster. I like it that much. Yes, this just started playing at the dollar theater in Chattanooga. Which, let me complain for a moment, is not actually a dollar theater, but a "$3 for matinees and heaven only knows how much for an evening" theater. Anyways, it was just as good as the first time. The scene in the cave, when Dumbledore creates the giant swirling fire hurricane is...awesome. That is all.

So everybody (hopefully) knows about Kanye West's shameful moment of shame at the VMAs last week. Well apparently, he posted an apology on his blog right after that happened, you can read about it here. What is most ridiculous is that, not only did he mock her in the apology (talking about how he really likes her lyrics about "being a cheerleader, and she's in the bleachers" do we really think he was sincerely praising her there?) but the apology apparently was only up for...a day, if that. It's been removed from the blog.


see more Fail Blog

An Epiphany

Well, I think I've figured out what exactly it was that drove Tom Cruise insane. I am almost positive it was filming "Interview with a Vampire," because that movie is so effing insane I don't even have words for it. Tom Cruise in it is...evil, crazy-go-nuts, and has so much hair. He probably has more hair than I've ever had in my whole entire life. Actually no, that much hair has probably grown from my head. But I can't compete with Antonio Banderas. It's so highly teased too. Why would vampires tease their hair? Antonio Banderas has a giant, woolly blanket of ratted hair. There's probably blood matted in it too. And...the vampire baby that is Kirsten Dunst. No, Stephanie Meyer did not make up hungry vampire babies. There are so many things that are just wrong and creepy and....sigh. Just don't watch it. Unless you ARE a vampire. In that case you would probably find it interesting and true to life.

I'm writing this as I watch the end of this movie, and there are so many things that I want to say about it, but I don't think you want to hear about Brad Pitt's crazy contacts, and the way that he burns all the other vampires ...alive? and cuts them to pieces with a giant scythe. How appropriate.

Done.

OMG.

To quote a very wise young man, "Why is this happening to me?! Is this real life???"

Please, visit this website to find out why I am SO concerned. And it's a very real, appalled and stunned kind of concerned. Not fake concern.

REALLY quickly because it is SO my bedtime; I was just looking at my i-tunes and it showed me the top albums right now, one of which is the jonas brothers new album? The title of this album is "Lines, Vines, and Trying Times." Do they really expect me to believe that ISN'T a drug/alcohol reference and allow my hypothetical (read: non-existent) children listen to that album? SERIOUSLY? Seriously. Good night.

Tennessee it is!

So I just filled out my acceptance form for UT-K. And I'm getting excited. I have a feeling the program is going to be different than my ideas and expectations, but I'm open to change. Also, I originally wanted to do a more library-focused program, but the more I think about it, the more a digital library/database focused program seems completely practical. More opportunities in the real world, and I may have the opportunity to intern at Oak Ridge national lab (think Manhattan project and enriching Uranium). I'm not sure though; I may end up doing something that combines the two and gives me maximum choices. But I'm really getting excited. Mostly to be done and on the other side, but also to be in school again. Not that it's been that long since I got out...but yeah. And the campus is beautiful! In downtown Knoxville on the banks of the Tennessee river, lots of deep red brick classical gothic style buildings, a nice effort of matching new construction to the old (not like BYU...however much I love it, none of the buildings really...well, go). and I'll be attending a school that has 1) an awesome football team (which will be a big change...sorry cougars, you haven't really cut it since the mid-80s.), and 2) a spring break! Me...on spring-break? Crazy, right?

My biggest concern right now is whether they will classify me as a resident for tuition purposes. Because right now they haven't. Which could be expensive. I'm sending in my appeal tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.

Don't get me wrong, this movie does look entertaining. But have any of you actually ever read any of the Sherlock Holmes stories? Because this movie is the complete opposite of everything that Doyle created Homes to be. And I'm offended for his sake. But I'll still watch it. But know that I'll be wincing inwardly throughout. I always used to have a fictional character crush on Sherlock Holmes. The old Holmes. Not the RD, Jr. version.

And Jude Law as Watson? At least he found a part that works with his receding hairline and allows him to continue his recent trend of not bathing.

American Idol

I know this is ridiculous, because there's no way on earth that this would ever be an issue; nevertheless, I will say it. Everytime I watch American Idol, I'm so glad that I'm not a contestant for the simple reason that I could NEVER (EVER) keep a straight face while listening to Paula Abdul comment on my performance. I am so grateful. She is a nutcase and a half.



On a side note, I've been admitted to three grad schools now- Pratt, Catholic, and Tennessee. I'll probably end up going to TN even though I haven't heard back from two schools yet because I wont hear back until January and the more I think about it, the more I fancy the idea of going to TN, paying cheap tuition, living at home for free (however loserly and lonesome it might be, it's cheap), attending a school that's ranked higher than both Pratt and Catholic, and starting now instead of deferring for a year to earn money and finishing more quickly. There are so many things about it that recommend that plan to me over any other. I'm still not 100% percent sure that's what I want to do (the lure of Maryland is pretty strong, but it's still an unkown. An expensive one.) but I'll pray about it and let y'all know. That's right. I said it. Y'all. What can I say, I'm in Tennessee right now and it's getting to me.

Ode to Stairs

7
10
20
17
10

11
15


The sequences of steps behind the RB.
Yes I have been running up them, late every day for much too long.

Sometimes two at a time,

Sometimes singly,

Sometimes not running at all but carefully,

wearily,

plodding my way to class.

But that only when I was on time.

Which was rarely.
Today we met for maybe the last time.

And I won.

Goodbye suffocating steps.
I will miss you.

Maybe.

What I'm about to complain about well probably seem trivial to you. But I don't care. I. Am. Livid. Tonight I got home after waliking around in the rain and after putting on some clean warm clothes, I thought, "now I'll watch a movie and whiten my teeth and it will be awesome." Exactly those words. To myself. In my head. So I go, pull out my whitening trays, and go to look for the rest of my tooth whitening system that I got from my dentist that cost several hundred dollars. Where was it? NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. Not after I pulled everything out of the fridge (where it had been stored). And every other cabinet (even if I had found it in one of them it would have been useless to me. Because it needs to be refrigerated. Obviously). And this means that the last person who cleaned out the fridge threw it away. Now, a tooth whitening system is not that important. I am the first and firmest person to admit that. But the cost IS important. Do I have that much money to throw down on a replacement? NO. OF COURSE I DON'T. The other, and the main reason this upsets me so much is that it is indicative of a blatant disrespect for anything that does not belong to YOU. If it isn't yours, don't touch it. That was simple. Wasn't it? If you have to touch it, put it back exactly where you found. Or in the general vicinity. Or at least on the same floor, I'm not really that picky. Don't leave other people's things laying around on the floor. SHOW RESPECT. I could not be more angry right now. I basically just lost control in front of Melanie about this because she was sitting downstairs while I was looking and witnessed my anger.

Oh hey [un-named roomate], sorry I took your insulin out of the fridge and stepped on it on accident because it was sitting on the floor. Because that's where I left it. Because it's not mine, so what do I really care what happens to it? So you're out now. Oh what, that was all you had? Oh sorry, you shouldn't have left it sitting in the fridge for so long.

A quick update

In reference to my last post, said sweet polish woman took the family's baby and told th nanny she would take care of it because nanny girl was freaking out. So poland buried the baby in her backyard, but some men came to install some piping in her yard and she tried to stop them but couldn't so they found the baby and arrested her and sentenced her to DEATH! And they wouldn't believe the nanny when she told them the truth, they just thought se was crazed with grief. So that wonderful old lady who only ever wanted to help people DIED because the nanny was to frightened to do the right thing. RIDICULOUS.

A Word of Advice

Lets say you're a nanny in a rich family in London in 1902. Actually, you're not a nanny, you're the nanny's assistant. And the head nanny is crazy go nuts. Lock the kids in their rooms all day, drugs the baby so he won't cry, etc... One night, you wake up and the baby is dead. Really sad. But the head nanny freaks out because she's already had one of the kids die on her watch. So when she goes to tell the family, she doesn't actually tell them, she just babbles a lot of random nonsense, runs back to her room, grabs her stuff and bolts. So you're left with a dead baby, the family doesn't know, and actually the parents are in India, the only family at home is the niece of the parents. So the little boy comes to you and tells you you should bring your baby (because you have one, and he's staying with this Polish lady on the other side of town and your family can't know that you have a baby because...scandal!) and substitute it for the other baby who has now passed on. NOW. That was complicated. But if a 6 year old boy suggested this crazy scheme to you, would you actually do it? NO! Of course not! What in the world was this girl thinking? Ok, now watch Berkeley Square, a British miniseries about nannies in turn of the century London.

And when the really sweet old polish lady tries to talk some sense into you and tells you that you can't just substitute one baby for another, LISTEN TO HER!!!!!! Please.

So My cousin Kristin came over tonight just to hang out and watch American Idol. This might not sound that amazing to you, but it is to me. For the following reason: My dad was in the Army for 25 years. We (my brothers and I) did not grow up around our extended family. Ever. We might have spent a week together here and a few days there, but never more than that. And most of that was when we lived in WA. Which we left when I was barely 8. So I have cousins, etc..., I love them, I've always wanted to spend more time with them, but we've never been able to. And my mom's family has been very...divided...since I can remember, so there was never a lot of incentive for the adults to spend the time together. Anyways, Kristin got married in November, and has been living in southwest Provo. But we still haven't hung out. Until now. And it was awesome! We have a family! I knew that already, but...I mean...they haven't really been a part of my life before. Not in a tangible way. Anyways, we had fun. And she set Craig up on a date. Which led to the best phone call I've ever witnessed...etc...

Going to St. George this weekend. Last time I went (back in June) was one of the best mini-holidays of my life. Relaxing, fun, spontaneous...wonderful. So we're going back!

I'm applying to grad schools but it stresses me out too much right now to actually talk about it. give it a couple of weeks.

Bored.

So I just started reading Brisingr, the third installment in Cristopher Paolini's cracked out "Inheritance Trilogy."

Yes, I have a penchant for silly fantasy books, and a weird compulsive aspect to my personality that demands that I finish every book I begin, no matter how terrible. In this case, that also extends to subsequent books in a series.

Anyways, my first complaint is that the book is much to large. I don't need 748 pages of Tolkien larceny. Mostly because it doesn't fit very well in my bag. It fits so poorly, in fact, that when I'm carrying it on my shoulder, the book stabs my shoulder blade. and no alternate arrangement of purse contents alleviates the pain.

Secondly, "grimstnzborith" is not a word, nor is it feasible as a word in any made up language. Ever. You are not Tolkien (who is still recognized as the pre-eminent linguist and philologist of his day) so stop trying to be.

And my last complaint- I've only made it through the first 5 pages so far...but there's something horribly Chronicles of Riddick about the opening pages (i.e. people who mutilate themselves as an act of worship...to some crazy, dark being). It's creepy. And still not even written well at all. I think one of the things that has kept me reading this series was the hope that as he aged, Paolini's writing would as well- become more mature, and much more subtle. Alas, it has not happened. I still feel as though I'm reading a fanfic by some 15 year old obsessed with Robert Jordan, Raymond E. Feist, and Tad Williams. And Tolkien. Ostensibly.

Confessions of a Shopaholic= Ridiculous and wonderful.
The International= Actually quite good- better than similar movies I've seen recently.

Kristin, come back to work.

Is it wrong that I could care less about politics right now? I know it is, I shouldn't even ask. But there are so many things that are more immediate and pressing at this point in my life. So yes, judge me for being apathetic. I'll be an activist tomorrow.

It's been a long time, but I'm back!

First off-- Oversized button up shirt+black leggings that don't match+wannabe Burberry plaid rainboots with faded pictures of dogs= NOT AN OUTFIT!

Secondly, mustaches are neither suave nor debonair. Nor are they attractive, cute, ironic, funny, or kosher in any way. Stop already.

Third, one of the things that makes me the most angry in the world is changed plans. Ex: I make a plan with someone to do something a few days from now, I'm going to make time to fill that plan, and I expect the same courtesy from the other person(s) involved. If you're not going to be able to do it, tell me beforehand. You won't hurt my feelings, and I'll find something else worthwhile to do. Another example: I make plans with someone, and they change them at the last minute without telling me. Is it really that hard to make a phone call or send me a text? Again, you won't hurt my feelings, and I'll be able to plan accordingly. Really, all this boils down to is that I simply want others to give me the same consideration I would give them in the same situation.

Fourth, Guatemala is not as dangerous as you think it is, and France may conceal hidden dangers under a congenial surface.

Taken= Good, if a bit on the violent side.
Inkheart= Enjoyable. Andy Serkis is my idol.
Underworld 3= Utter crap, waste of my time like the other 2.
He's Just Not That Into You= Funny, painfully awkward, but in an entertaining (but still very very painful) way.
Push= Weird, action-y, too sci-fi-ey. Meh.
New In Town= Cute! A rom-com rated PG! What a relief!
Bride Wars= Horrible.
The Tale of Deseperaux= Actually quite good. Great animation, goofy plot about soup.
Australia= I think I've already made it quite clear how I feel about this. That is, crap saved by H.J.
Twilight= Sigh
Benjamin Button= Much too long, too much sex, not remotely relatable to reality. Amazing, flawless CGI.