I just had a moment of real panic RE: not knowing what the future holds. Being in a temporary job which may or may not become permanent and interviewing (successfully? or not?) for other jobs and really just having no insight into where I'll be living in 3-4 months is exhausting.

I know I've talked about this before, and I know it's not a unique situation. Honestly, I'm grateful to be employed at all, for however short a time. I love my workplace, and I'm excited about the outside jobs that I'm applying for. That's a good thing, right? No matter where I end up, there will be perks and there will be sacrifices. If I leave Utah, I'm giving up a community that I absolutely adore, and a cause that I'm excited about, but I'll be (hopefully) gaining a permanent situation and new challenges (you know I love a challenge), and a new place to discover.

I know I'm being incredibly self-indulgent, but can you sympathize?



(photo- my house courtesy of Google Maps' wonderful 8-bit April Fools version)

I know this is my second post in a short time about Les Mis, but I can't help it. I have a Pandora station that started as "Wicked" radio and has been morphed by my careful curation until it only plays music from the following: Wicked, Beauty and the Beast, Little Women (the musical!), The Light in the Piazza (a musical that flopped but has an amazing score), and lots and lots and lots of Les Mis. AND I LOVE IT. There is nothing with which I would rather fill my brain while cataloging. NOTHING, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Last night I had a dream. Some background first- I have a cabinet full of things that I can't catalog because I don't have a way to watch/listen to them- things like audiotapes, betacam tapes- obsolete AV formats. So if I have something that's not labeled, I just add it to the pile. The pile is big. It's waiting for someone who works in the basement who can play them to have time to do so- this is a problem because he is busy. Super busy. And some of these things have to be baked before they can be played- I don't even understand really.

Anyways, last night i had a dream that he actually came to take my shelves full of items to actually listen to them. I was really *really* excited. What do you think is the meaning of this dream?

I think it means I need to find more exciting things to occupy my time/thoughts.

I think I posted about this earlier, but I was going to take an internship this summer at a national lab in WV. It wasn't the ideal internship I had been hoping for, but it was really good nonetheless. Then, after I had already accepted and turned in all my paperwork (because the due date was approaching and at the time it was the only offer I had received), I got a phone interview and several hours later an offer for another internship in DC. It also wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for, but was a good opportunity. So I had two great internships that I was kind of indifferent about, and I spent two and a half days in frantic prayers and fasting trying to decide which was right (because apparently I was taking this decision very seriously...I'm not sure why I was so worked up about it at the time). True to past form, I didn't really receive an answer and was about to reply to DC and accept (I received the offer on Wednesday and had to accept by close of business on Friday). So I composed an email in my phone accepting the DC internship around 2 pm on Friday and was about to send it, but I still didn't feel completely convinced, so I decided to wait until the last possible minute, just in case I received a 24 style high drama answer. Because 24 is exactly like the gospel. I distinctly remember composing the email sitting in my car, and I had my thumb on the "send" button and was just about to send it but I just felt something saying "hey just wait a little while longer". Then, at 4:30, just as I was walking into Hobby Lobby, I got a call. It was from the director of the National Transportation Library offering me an internship in the archives there. This was exactly the internship that I had been hoping for and had despaired of getting. She didn't even take time to talk to me and conduct any sort of interview before offering me the position (desperate for cheap labor? I don't even care) , and she sounded incredibly excited that I was available and interested. Have you ever had an interview that went really well, and you wer excited, and you could tell that they were excited, and you just felt that click? I hope so, because it's a great feeling, but that's the way this was. I am so excited that I got the internship that I wanted, which will give me some desperately needed archival experience, and it's in DC, and housing is free (to me anyways...your tax dollars at work :) ), and it's paid, and I have something to do this summer that doesn't involve manual labor. Talk about high drama answers. I was in the "well maybe he's telling me that I need to make my own decision because they're both good or maybe I'll receive confirmation afterwards" mode. Which is not a bad mode, but I love the "hey maybe I haven't answered you because there's an even BETTER option just around the corner- just be patient" mode SOOOO much more.

Of course now it's coming up soon so my terror is increasing daily because I just GET REALLY NERVOUS, OK?!??

Anyways, it was exciting. The gospel is true.