I just had a moment of real panic RE: not knowing what the future holds. Being in a temporary job which may or may not become permanent and interviewing (successfully? or not?) for other jobs and really just having no insight into where I'll be living in 3-4 months is exhausting.

I know I've talked about this before, and I know it's not a unique situation. Honestly, I'm grateful to be employed at all, for however short a time. I love my workplace, and I'm excited about the outside jobs that I'm applying for. That's a good thing, right? No matter where I end up, there will be perks and there will be sacrifices. If I leave Utah, I'm giving up a community that I absolutely adore, and a cause that I'm excited about, but I'll be (hopefully) gaining a permanent situation and new challenges (you know I love a challenge), and a new place to discover.

I know I'm being incredibly self-indulgent, but can you sympathize?



(photo- my house courtesy of Google Maps' wonderful 8-bit April Fools version)

I'm moving to the North Pole.

So I've been applying for jobs. And sometimes I apply for jobs that are longshots, or in places I wouldn't really want to go, because hey, any job is better than no job, right? Or something. And as much as I say I would be willing to go anywhere, there are still some places that I don't include in my definition of "anywhere". Like China. Or Florida. New Mexico. Arizona. Basically any place that is too foreign, or where the temperature regularly tops 110 in the summer.

Anyways, I'm thinking about applying for a job (that maybe I don't fill all the qualifications for, but I've got most of them, and it's worth a try). But you guys, it's in Yellowknife, CA- that's in the Northern Territories. Still not sure where that is? Visualize with me-


IT'S PRACTICALLY IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE.

Oh, whew, I just checked, it's a full 512 KM south of the Arctic circle. AND it's nickname is "Diamond Capital of North America". SOLD.

(Also, I'm counting on a disproportionately high man to woman ration. I like the odds of that.)

You guys, ALL the good jobs open up when I'm not looking! I'm ticked. Today I saw the perfect job listing (archivist, working with lots of AV, in ATL at the Carter Presidential Library- I'm an archivist, I've worked with tons of AV, ATL is close to Chattanooga!) but I just can't bring myself to apply because if, on the off chance that I actually got it, I would have to leave my internship about 5 months early, and I know they would understand me leaving, but I just cant bear the thought of leaving so long before it's over! I was so excited when I got this because finally I would have some kind of experience that lasted longer than 4-6 months. I need to get a solid year on my resume.

Job application mental block ftw. ARG.

In other news:

"Crazy, Stupid, Love" was both crazy and stupid, but also confusing (not in a bad way) and entertaining. And oh honey, I never though Ryan Gosling was attractive until I saw this, but (pardon the expression), ROWR. ALSO, the character with whom I share a name is A CREEPER. I don't care if I'm giving you spoilers, but I am just so appalled because she has something unsavory going on inside her brain that drives her to give naked pictures of herself to a THRTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY.

I'm halfway through my internship now. Do you know what that means? That means it's time to gear up for another round of job applications! Yippee!

Here is my problem though. Before I got this job, I spent 5 months sending in applications. Five months!! Now I realize there are people who have been trying for much longer to get a job without success, and I'm grateful it only took me that long. And when this one did pop up, it was kind of a whirlwind- barely a month from the "let's set up an interview" phone call to my first day of work (including trying to keep up with a full course load, packing most of my belongings, and making a cross-country move).

But anyways, back to the problem. So. Last time it took forever long to finally snag a position, and I'm having a hard time judging how long it will take me this time. I want to give myself enough time applying so that I'll end up with a position starting round about the beginning of March. How early is too early to begin? How late is too late? I do have more experience now, so maybe it won't take as long?

Also, the other problem. There is almost nothing I hate more than the job-search process. No matter how tough-skinned I think I am, I still die a little bit inside every time I get an email saying "we're sorry, you weren't among our most qualified applicants". Sigh.

How to prepare for a job interview

How do you prepare for a telephone interview? I don't know about you, but I:

1. Washed my hair. Because they can see what it looks like.

2. Took a useless trip out to "run errands" but in reality only ended up dropping one letter at the post office. It felt more productive to get out of the house than just to sit around biting my nails all morning, ok?

3. Did some stress baking. I made a batch of pizzelles (waffle-like italian cookies). Like the picture, but mine were flavored with orange oil and zest. I'm planning on making some chocolate-almond ones tomorrow before my other interview.



4. Put on makeup. Because they can see what it looks like.

5. Brushed my teeth. THREE TIMES. Because they can smell my breath.

6. Got a comfortable chair that allowed me to sit upright, rather than my regular lounge chair or exercise ball. It felt more professional.

7. Placed said chair in front of my french doors that look out on the forest and opened the blinds. I figured that would be more peaceful to look at than my messy bedroom.

8. Printed off the job announcement and wrote some questions to ask.

9. Also wrote my strengths and weaknesses. Not because I'm obsessed with myself, but because I've been asked in every interview I've had in the last few years to talk about them. I'm always stumped by that one, so I figured I would go into this one prepared. (Guess what they didn't ask me about this time?)

10. Sat in my chair, looking out my windows, phone and papers in lap and pen in hand...waiting.

Trying to find a job is STRESSING ME OUT.

I haven't left the house in three days because of the snow.

Glee hasn't been on tv for A WHOLE MONTH.

I thought classes started tomorrow, and if it weren't for my department's student affairs coordinator, I would have no idea that they actually start today. THAT was almost a disaster. Once, at BYU, I actually did miss the first day of a class because I couldn't find the HRCB on the map (stupid, right?). I was mad.

Did I ever write about Black Swan? Because all of the above things are not good, but they're not exactly ruining my life. Do you know what did ruin my life? BLACK SWAN. If you are even thinking about watching it, DO NOT. Don't get more curious because I said that and go see it anyways. I am telling you, if you want your life to continue happy and carefree as it has hopefully been to this point, by all that is holy, DO NOT watch that movie. I thought to myself "Ooh, psychological thriller...ballet...what could possibly go wrong? This sounds basically amazing." Little did I know what awaited me was basically a few explicitly, agressively, and violently sexual encounters woven together by things like...oh, Winona Ryder stabbing herself repeatedly in the face with a metal nail file...and...a daughter beating up her mother and breaking her hand by slamming her fingers in a door- over and over and over again...and....lots of terrible bloody self-mutilation. Toned down, this could have been a great movie about one girl's descent into madness (although she really started the movie in madness so maybe descent isn't the correct word...). As it is, it's a two-hour shock-fest, where the shocks are indeed shocking, but have tenuous relevance to the story itself. Blurg.

I'm getting really tired of finding new job announcements, getting excited about them, and then never hearing anything. Ever. I just really want to get a job at the Yellowstone archives, ok?! Why don't they realize that.

All of this is making me really, really anxious. That and other anxiety-producing aspects of my life are NOT GOOD FOR MY BLOOD PRESSURE. Or my cortisol levels :)

Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, etc...

This is my year of blog supremacy.