Tuesday, May 7, 2013

That sh!$ cray

So. Remember Sasquatch Guy? Last week I shut down further invitations from him, for obvious reasons. Today, I received an email from him. Here is an excerpt:

After that, I'm strangely tempted to keep this going. This is the most entertaining thing that's happened to me for a long time. 

Any of you have similar stories? Tell me EVERYTHING. 

Monday, May 6, 2013

Road trip!

This is probably going to be happening about a year from now- I'm determined.

Rome to Rome, hitting up Italy (Rome obviously, Florence, Bologna, Padua, Venice, Trieste, maybe Naples on the way back), Slovenia, Hungary (Budapest, Bekescaba, Szeged, Pecs), Croatia (Zagreb, Plitvice National Park, Split, Dubrovnik, allofthebeaches), Montenegro, and Albania along the way. Looking at this, I should probably tweak it to include Serbia and B&H as well.

If you think road trips are fun, just wait until you get pulled over by cops with whom you have no languages in common in a foreign country. THE BEST.

Come with me on an ambitiously huge European road-trip adventure? YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

On another note, have you ever been to any of these places? Have suggestions for other stops to include?

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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Adam Cast Forth

¿Hubo un Jardín o fue el Jardín un sueño?
Lento en la vaga luz, me he preguntado,
casi como un consuelo, si el pasado
de que este Adán, hoy mísero, era dueño,
no fue sino una mágica impostura
de aquel Dios que soñé. Ya es impreciso
en la memoria el claro paraíso,
pero yo sé que existe y que perdura,
aunque no para mí. La terca tierra
es mi castigo y la incestuosa guerra
de Caínes y Abeles y su cría.
Y, sin embargo, es mucho haber amado,
haber sido feliz, haber tocado
el viviente Jardín, si
quiera un día.

Jorge Luis Borges

(translation here)

Monday, April 29, 2013

Things to avoid at all costs

I talked a touch about this on the Facebook already, but I thought I'd put together a quick reference list of things-never-to-mention on a first date, just to help you all out. Not that you need it, really. You're a spectacularly well-adjusted group of people.

  • Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti/sincere belief in any cryptozoology/even the fact that you know the term cryptozoology: This is only acceptable if you have a truly excellent story to tell about a great prank you played on a friend that somehow involved any of these elements. I'm all about Bigfoot pranks and hilarious hijinx. I'm not at all about dedicating any substantial portion of time to studying or discussing cryptids.

  • Aliens: They may exist, they may not, I'm just not in the mood to get into this kind of speculative science at a first meeting. If you tell me that you think you saw a UFO when you were 9, I'll probably zone out and spend the next 20 minutes thinking about the delicious Thai coconut soup I had for dinner yesterday. There's a time and a place. This is not it. In the middle of an X-Files marathon? Great time. Driving through the Nevada desert? Perfect place. Awkward dinner with someone you barely know? Nope. Shut that down.

  • Flipping houses: Don't even talk to me about this. It's not a job. It's a hobby AT BEST. Unless you are passionate about historical restoration, all this tells me about you is that you're probably in get-rich-quick mode, rather than find-something-you-really-love-and-do-it-consistently mode. One is better and healthier than the other. I'll leave it to you to discern which that is.

  • Shopping screenplays around to directors: Again, not a job. Don't even bring this up. You're living in Sugarhouse and I find it highly unlikely that this is more than just a pie-in-the-sky idea something along the lines of that discussed in point 3.

  • Your love for Big Bang Theory: I can't even deal with this. It's a poorly written, predictable mockery of the geek culture it claims to celebrate. If I don't know you very well, this is pretty much a dealbreaker. At least save it until I know you have other redeeming qualities.

As a coda to this brief list, I should add that any one of these things would be a red flag on its own, but all of them together are a flashing neon DANGER sign. In the future, I will do my part to avoid any situations that might combine all five.