ALSO-

To all you haters (who aren't really haters, I just needed an excuse to say that)- I haven't had any caffeinated soda since October 20. BWAHA! I did take a soda break on our fake Thanksgiving a week or two ago- we had slush! And sparkling cider! So I HAVE had some soda, but no caffeine. And no headaches!

Woo!

Guess what? In June 2009 I had 14 posts in one month. What was I thinking? Why am I such a slacker now? Discuss.

Parting is such...a horribly unsatisfying moment

You know what I really suck at? Ok, don't go off listing all my faults (though that might be interesting to hear sometime). I really suck at the professional goodbye. You know, when you're leaving a job and you go to say goodbye for the last time to your superior with whom you are friendly, but do not have a loosey-goosey super-casual relationship that would allow you to give them a hug and weep on their shoulder (not that I've ever done that)? Yeah, I suck at that. All I'll allow myself is a handshake, a smile, a few half-mumbled words about how grateful I am for everything, and then...just walk away. But that hardly seems like enough. Ever. So instead of walking away feeling happy that I'm done and grateful that I had the opportunity, I walking away having an anxiety attack thinking about what I should have said that would have felt more complete to me. I eventually have to force myself to do something meaningless to distract my mind, and that usually ends up with me (picture it if you will), walking down the street, focusing very hard on counting every step until I get to the car and can drown myself in mindless public radio.

Oh my life.

But really, thinking about this, I've realized that I just suck at saying goodbye to people period. Nothing I can do in those few minutes seems able to express everything I want to say, even if what I want to say is just "it's been great, k bye!", or "hey you were a bizarre roomate, thanks for messing up my laundry!" Don't worry, if you're reading this and we were roomates, that is not directed at you.

Unfortunately, I've had occasion to say quite a few (probably permanent) goodbyes in the last year or so, what with ending internships and practicums and volunteer work, etc...Maybe I just need to get a more stable, permanent job, and then I can just avoid goodbyes altogether. Awesome plan, me.

P.s. As I was adding tags to this post, I had to create a whole new one for "awkward". It wasn't already in my list of tags- can you believe it, with all the awkward things that happen to me? Well, I should probably say all the awkward things that I do, but anyways...

Steven is on his way home for mid-tour leave. He's leaving "theater today" which means he is leaving his tiny tiny base in the middle of nowhere to go to a slightly larger base to catch a ride to Kandahar where he will grab a flight to Kuwait, then Germany, then Des Moines to pick up his kids, then here. So he was supposed to hit the states around 11/4 so that should give you an idea of how long that whole trip will take. I'm excited he's coming back- I've somehow always been pretty zen about family members going overseas- it doesn't worry me. Maybe I'm cold-hearted. I don't think so, I've always seen it as a blessing, maybe a sign that they'll be ok. I'm grateful for that.

On the soda front- Day seven, WHAT?! My head still hurts. I wonder if that will go away eventually or if I am bound to be dependent on caffeine for the rest of my liiife.

Day two of my soda fast. HA! (Take that Emmy). Unfortunately, this is pretty much how I felt all day long:

Yes I'm addicted to caffeine, and yes it's ridiculous. But now, my life is going to be so. Much. Better.

Also, while I was looking for that grotesque picture above, I found this, which just makes my head hurt even more: