Things to avoid at all costs

I talked a touch about this on the Facebook already, but I thought I'd put together a quick reference list of things-never-to-mention on a first date, just to help you all out. Not that you need it, really. You're a spectacularly well-adjusted group of people.

• Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Yeti/sincere belief in any cryptozoology/even the fact that you know the term cryptozoology: This is only acceptable if you have a truly excellent story to tell about a great prank you played on a friend that somehow involved any of these elements. I'm all about Bigfoot pranks and hilarious hijinx. I'm not at all about dedicating any substantial portion of time to studying or discussing cryptids.

• Aliens: They may exist, they may not, I'm just not in the mood to get into this kind of speculative science at a first meeting. If you tell me that you think you saw a UFO when you were 9, I'll probably zone out and spend the next 20 minutes thinking about the delicious Thai coconut soup I had for dinner yesterday. There's a time and a place. This is not it. In the middle of an X-Files marathon? Great time. Driving through the Nevada desert? Perfect place. Awkward dinner with someone you barely know? Nope. Shut that down.

• Flipping houses: Don't even talk to me about this. It's not a job. It's a hobby AT BEST. Unless you are passionate about historical restoration, all this tells me about you is that you're probably in get-rich-quick mode, rather than find-something-you-really-love-and-do-it-consistently mode. One is better and healthier than the other. I'll leave it to you to discern which that is.

• Shopping screenplays around to directors: Again, not a job. Don't even bring this up. You're living in Sugarhouse and I find it highly unlikely that this is more than just a pie-in-the-sky idea something along the lines of that discussed in point 3.

• Your love for Big Bang Theory: I can't even deal with this. It's a poorly written, predictable mockery of the geek culture it claims to celebrate. If I don't know you very well, this is pretty much a dealbreaker. At least save it until I know you have other redeeming qualities.

As a coda to this brief list, I should add that any one of these things would be a red flag on its own, but all of them together are a flashing neon DANGER sign. In the future, I will do my part to avoid any situations that might combine all five.

Quotes

"The things we truly love are locked in our hearts as long as life remains"

Josephine Baker

This, right now, and for days to come

Quotes

"I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find my banks full of roses under my cypresses."

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

(Live Oak engraving by the incomparable Barry Moser)

Ramblings

So I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do with this little blog moving forward. In case you haven't noticed (and if you haven't, are you blind?!), I haven't had much to say here for about the last year. That's happened for a lot of reasons, but most recently, I attribute it directly to my Twitter obsession.

With my Google-addled attention span, I'm not sure I have anything of length worth sharing here anymore, but I'm not willing to abandon this quite yet. Honestly, it's the closest thing to a journal that I've got going, so sorry future children, you're mostly out of luck, but at least you'll know of my unnatural love for European baritones, which I'm sure will be exceedingly helpful when you're trying to make important life decisions, and all that jazz.


Lately, I've been:

• Taking selfies in distorted mirror pillars

•  Spending too much time (as usual) in teh naturez. This is one of my favorite hikes- the Living Room- full of "furniture" made of sandstone slabs. This was taken on a particularly cold and rainy day. I feel pretty lucky to live in a city where I'm only minutes away from sights like this. 

• Chasing quails around the backyard. On this particular day, they took refuge in the apple tree. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, almost nothing delights me more than ridiculous quails.  

Other stuff has been happening, but you don't really want to hear about that- you just want the good/boring stuff like birds and rocks. YOU'RE WELCOME.