This I Believe

"The hunt I'll never forget was after I'd moved away. Dad was almost seventy, and I was home for a few days. I had a cast on my leg and couldn't get it wet. Dad carried me--all 195 pounds, plus cast, guns, and plenty of shells--all the way to the blind. "You're not too heavy, Jim," he said.

"I believe that I am the man I am today because of that relationship. I learned to do things simply, to stay with the things that work, to be patient, to appreciate silence. I learned that discomfort is transient. I learned that I was a welcome burden to my dad, that life without burden is a life without weight, a shallow life. I believe we need the encumbrance of challenge. As dad plodded along through the water and over the levee, he occasionally stumbled, but never fell.

"I learned to love my children in this same way. I have created my own refuge with each. Their weight is never too heavy. It is welcome. Sometimes I stumble, make mistakes, but I never fall." (emphasis added, please listen to the entire essay here)

Last Sunday, a man was speaking in church and for whatever reason, mentioned a question that he likes to ask on first dates- "what defines you?" I turned to my friend and whispered "dealbreaker". She laughed. Then I thought, whatamIdoingbeseriousthisischurch. THEN I thought, what would I say if someone asked me that question? What DO I say? Usually something about my hobbies. Something about my education. Something about my army-brat rearing. Something about my religion. Something about my family. But none of those things alone describe nearly who I am or who I hope to be.

Last night, a friend was jokingly talking about her life's mantra- something about ice cream and dessert and if it makes you happy then that's good for your heart so then it's good for you. I don't even know. But in the middle of this silly conversation, I started thinking- if I had to condense my approach to life into just a few words, something snappily quotable, what would it be?

Whenever I think about things like this, I inevitably come back to this essay by James Johnson, a professor at Smith College, for "This I Believe". I know I've shared it here before, but it's been on my mind again lately.  Maybe I put too much weight on this gem by one man about whom I know next to nothing? I don't know. But I do know that right now, at this exact moment, if someone asked me what defined me, what my "mantra" is, I would tell them that, more than anything, I want to create a life for myself that is substantial. I would tell them that I believe a "life without burden is a life without weight, a shallow life". I would try to tell them something that embodies my belief that a necessary and considerable part of life should be confronting, bearing, and overcoming challenges; whether these are challenges I face alone, on behalf of or with someone I care about, or challenges facing my community. Obviously, I have a long way to go, but I hope through this to become someone worth knowing. I hope that, eventually, I can be the one to say "sometimes I stumble, make mistakes, but I never fall."