My student loans aren't small, but listening to stories about kids graduating with 60,000-100,000 dollars of college debt, it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER about myself and the choice I made to go to UT. I'll already be paying this off for years to come, but i can't imagine the burden I would be feeling right now if I had to pay back four times what I have to. Go me.

Now as long as I can resist getting a credit card, I'll be pretty good to go. As long as I can get another job when this one is over.

Coffee...erm I mean...Hot Chocolate Talk

Have you ever become friends with someone out of the goodness of your heart and had it turn against you? Discuss.

(I feel like this has happened a disproportionate number of times in the last year and it ticks me off)

So...

When I was in D.C. last summer, I was as bad as keeping up with my blog as I always am, partly because I was *way* too busy being a self-important city-dweller.

So instead of blogging, I kept memos on my phone of things to blog about when I had the time. I just remembered this as I went through and deleted old memos that have built up and found this:

"Title: Fff [side note, you have to give it a title or it won't save.]
Rude fitting room attendant
Cry me a river [this is presumably about some time I heard someone blasting this song and it reminded me of one of my first college roomates who, after breaking up with her boyfriend from home, locked herself in our room for three days and listened to this song constantly.]
Man steals gfs socks
Communist chic bag says "let us build, not destroy" [apparently I saw this and thought it was ironic, considering the end result of most Communist governments]
Tortilla cafe in Eastern Market [an area of D.C. maybe I wanted to go there]"

So there you go, a glimpse into my life last summer.

you guys, today was a supremely frustrating day. BOO.

First, for the last few days, my power has been wonky. I notice it the night before last when the furnace, the stove, and the fridge were not working. Someone came to fix it yesterday and when he left everything was working. Two hours later, I'm pretty sure the furnace stopped again (because last night was the coldest i've been since i got here), and by the time I woke up, everything that was not working the day before was working, but everything else was down. This includes most of the lights and ALL BUT ONE of the outlets. I had to get ready in the dark and walk to work with wet hair. When I got home today, NOTHING was working. The same man came back and realized the problem was in the meter box behind the house- a problem for a power-company employee. One came (very quickly, actually, I was kind of impressed) and confirmed that one of the two main breakers into the house was broken. He then proceeded to tell me that he could not fix it, we would have to call an electrician to fix it, THEN the power company again to come reconnect the power after the electrician worked on it. So who knows when that's going to happen. He rigged it so right now everything but the stove/oven is working which is good enough but I'm still stressed about it. All my food that's been chilled and defrosted multiple times!

Second, I came home in a hurry today because I knew the maintenance man would be coming by at 4:30. I undressed in a hurry, but in the process of taking off my awesomely beautiful new J. Crew boots, the zipper snagged on my tights. My $20 spanx tights that I just bought. Try as I might I could not dislodge it, or even move the zipper at all in either direction. The only solution was to tear the tights off the zipper. My expensive tights. They now have a huge hole in the right shin area. Bummed. Out.

Third, my computer is broken. Mostly it's fine, but the hole where the plug goes- the little jack in there is loose. The computer will only charge if I hold the cord in very weird positions. This is especially a problem as it takes a lot of my time to stand there holding the cord so it will charge, and this is even harder to do WITH NO POWER. I've had to send frantic "I can't turn in this assignment on time" or "I'll be missing class bc my comp is dead" emails to my professors. Not the best impression. I AM A MESS.

Fix my life please.

Is it normal for adult siblings to still hurt each other (emotionally, not physically...though I'm not sure the poking and play-wrestling will ever stop)? I feel like I should be past that stage- the stage of giving or receiving hurt, but every once in a while something happens that makes me question entire relationships. It just doesn't seem reasonable to me that two adults should be able to be so petty, defensive, judgmental, or quick to anger. I am as guilty of all of these things as either of my brothers, and I wish that weren't true. Of any of us. Of course, those aren't the only causes, there's also the fact that, even coming from the same background, we can all see the world so fundamentally differently. If the pain given or taken arose from a difference in principles or values, that would be more understandable. But when it is the result of assumptions, accusations, and a basic failure to listen, it seems so much worse.

I guess the basic question here is really this- why does life hurt so much sometimes?

But really, tell me- doyou still have situations like this with your siblings? Or am I abnormal? Maybe I just take things too seriously.