The Weepies

Not the best performance, but this has been (and will continue to be) one of my favorite songs for a very long time. It just...feels right. Like everything is ok in the world.

ALSO

This was the ...sign? logo? that I made for my shop on etsy in which I am selling nothing. AT LEAST I'M READY, OK?

I wish it had a bird in a tree in it, but I'm not that talented with computer art programs.

I should probably wait until the good camera charges so I can take some better pictures of this, but I'm very impatient, and I need an opinion now. NOW. I'm making a book for a friend's wedding and I can't settle on the color of book cloth to use. And yes I realize that there may be some of you that warrant such a gift, but this is a recent trend and I'll get around to it.

Anyways, her colors are burgandy and pink and ivory (I think) and I found this pretty japanese paper that was the best combination of all of those. I originally bought ivory cloth to go with it.

I also bought some red cloth that (in real life) pretty exactly matches the burgundy/red color in the paper. I actually bought it for the book I'll be making for Craig and Nicole's wedding (yes, to all those of you who don't know, which shouldn't be any of you, Craig's getting married. I'm officially a spinster).

But then, on another trip to Paper Source in a different location, I bought some different cloth that I actually like better for Craig and Nicole's book, but which I realized also looks kind of fabulous with this paper for this book. It's a little darker than the other red and is very shiny, more like a satin-type cloth that the matte basic coarser weave of the first two choices (and of typical bookcloth for you bookbinders).

And now I have too many choices and I can't decide. The ivory might be nice, but as it's ivory and get's dirty easily, I would make the case out of one of the red cloths. Or should I just choose one of the reds and do that for the whole thing? But which red? I DON'T KNOW. I do like the color of the first red better, it matches more exactly, but the finish of the second one is so much prettier. Or is red too bold and I should just stick with ivory?

Or be boring and go with black or brown. Or natural. Or purple ooooooo.

Usually I am awesome with these things, but this paper isn't something I would choose on my own (though I know she'll love it) so I don't know what would work best.

Edit: And actually after publishing this post, these pictures are just too crappy. I will try and take some better ones tomorrow. Phones aren't good cameras. Go figure.

I'm losing my mind

Tonight I was doing a bunch of random stuff that I needed to get done, so I had the tv on in the background. It was on TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress" because you KNOW I'm an absolute junkie for pretty things, and what's prettier than designer wedding gowns? After a couple of episodes the dismal reality show "4 Weddings" came on (four brides attend eachother's weddings and then judge them and the winner gets a honeymoon). I was kind of focused so I didn't change the channel. I went on with my stuff. A couple of hours later, the episodes had cycled through. When I realized I was sitting there staring at the same episode of "4 Weddings" AGAIN, I realized something was seriously wrong. Or it was bed time. Yes I'm lame.

I think I posted about this earlier, but I was going to take an internship this summer at a national lab in WV. It wasn't the ideal internship I had been hoping for, but it was really good nonetheless. Then, after I had already accepted and turned in all my paperwork (because the due date was approaching and at the time it was the only offer I had received), I got a phone interview and several hours later an offer for another internship in DC. It also wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for, but was a good opportunity. So I had two great internships that I was kind of indifferent about, and I spent two and a half days in frantic prayers and fasting trying to decide which was right (because apparently I was taking this decision very seriously...I'm not sure why I was so worked up about it at the time). True to past form, I didn't really receive an answer and was about to reply to DC and accept (I received the offer on Wednesday and had to accept by close of business on Friday). So I composed an email in my phone accepting the DC internship around 2 pm on Friday and was about to send it, but I still didn't feel completely convinced, so I decided to wait until the last possible minute, just in case I received a 24 style high drama answer. Because 24 is exactly like the gospel. I distinctly remember composing the email sitting in my car, and I had my thumb on the "send" button and was just about to send it but I just felt something saying "hey just wait a little while longer". Then, at 4:30, just as I was walking into Hobby Lobby, I got a call. It was from the director of the National Transportation Library offering me an internship in the archives there. This was exactly the internship that I had been hoping for and had despaired of getting. She didn't even take time to talk to me and conduct any sort of interview before offering me the position (desperate for cheap labor? I don't even care) , and she sounded incredibly excited that I was available and interested. Have you ever had an interview that went really well, and you wer excited, and you could tell that they were excited, and you just felt that click? I hope so, because it's a great feeling, but that's the way this was. I am so excited that I got the internship that I wanted, which will give me some desperately needed archival experience, and it's in DC, and housing is free (to me anyways...your tax dollars at work :) ), and it's paid, and I have something to do this summer that doesn't involve manual labor. Talk about high drama answers. I was in the "well maybe he's telling me that I need to make my own decision because they're both good or maybe I'll receive confirmation afterwards" mode. Which is not a bad mode, but I love the "hey maybe I haven't answered you because there's an even BETTER option just around the corner- just be patient" mode SOOOO much more.

Of course now it's coming up soon so my terror is increasing daily because I just GET REALLY NERVOUS, OK?!??

Anyways, it was exciting. The gospel is true.

Flipping channels this afternoon I was really excited to see Bill Nye on tv again. Granted, it was as a guest on the stupid Dr. Oz show, but still, Bill Nye the sciece guy!!! Mostly, that bought me back to 6th grade when I had the most adorable science teacher in the entire world. She was only my teacher for the first half of the year and then she left to go to grad school at Georgetown. She was probably the age I am now or a little younger, as cute as Emma from Glee with adorable hair and a sweetly retro wardrobe. She was excited about science, had slight deafness (and a small speech impediment because of it). She also had a huge celebrity crush on Bill Nye. She would talk about it anytime we watched one of his videos (which, because of her love fo him, was rather often). She was honestly just one of the cutest, sweetest people I can remember meeting, and I hope that all her wildest dreams came true (except maybe the one where she became Bill's wife). Here's to you, Ms. (insert name here- I don't remember, ok!?).

Quote of the week

"I blame Beyonce for everything that goes wrong in my life"

-Anthony from "Project Runway"

Sound thinking, Anthony. You're my hero.

I LOVE CLUTCHES! They're so chic. And I want this one.

MOHMMH

For a few months now, I have been volunteering at the National Medal of Honor Museum of Military History (whew!). Once a week, I help out at the museum archives. For the last few weeks, I've been working on the task of culling excess material out of the museum's files. They keep a file for each Medal of Honor winner (or most of them...there are around 3500) with general information like photos, medal citations (the certificate or declaration from Congress stating the reason for the award), articles, correspondence, etc... Basically anything that's not an actual artifact that is stored elsewhere in the archives. Now, I have no idea who the person was that created these files, but I'm not sure what they were thinking. Apparently that there would be lots of demand for information on these people, because in each file there are multiple copies of EVERYTHING. 6-10 copies of photos, citations, multiple original clippings of articles, blah blah blah. Basically, just buckets of unnecessary stuff. So anyways, I'm combing through,pulling out the extras, getting rid of anything that doesn't belong there, and making sure everything's in the right order (because apparently that person didn't know the alphabet either).

Anyways, the point of this is to tell you just how interesting this has been for me. I am NOT in any way a military history buff. Or any kind of history buff. It's interesting, sure, but I'd rather read fiction than non, and I've seen more battlefields than I'll ever remember. I leave that to the men in my family. They're all in the Army (some on purpose, some by accident of fate), they're all ridiculously bright, and they all love history. Even my mom, with her graveyard and family history obsession, falls right in with them. So when I first started working at the archives, I felt a bit out of place. I'm just there to get some exposure to the field, everyone else that volunteers there is a veteran, over 50, and has lived through, not to mention studied, far more history than I. It's actually kind of fun because when there are more than 3 of them in a room they all reminisce about the crazy things they did as children (filling discarded hypodermics with gasoline and lighting it for an impromptu flame-thrower) and talk about how surprised they are they made it to adulthood. It's absolutely delightful.

So my lack of knowledge in this area is the reason I'm so excited to be going through each of these files. With each one, I get to see the faces of war heroes from eras past, read their spectacular stories, and learn a little bit more about that side of American history with each one. My favorite part are the items that personalize the stories: photos, letters, even just a signature.

It's also, honestly, quite heartbreaking. Many of the medals were awarded posthumously. In some of these cases, instead of a photo of the soldier in the file, there is a photo of his loved ones at the presentation ceremony. In these photos, the president awarding the medal is invariably ecstatic, clearly impressed by the example of these men, and appreciative of the opportunity to honor them in this small way (It's really cute actually, most of the ones from WWII, which also actually make up most of the medal winners, are president Truman, and he is just beaming. In the ones awarded while the soldier was alive, they usually show him hugging the soldier or holding him about an arm's length away while he talks to the soldier. I'll paste a pic below). In the posthumous awards though, the faces of the families, tell a different story. I have not seen one that is smiling. While I am sure they are grateful for the example of their lost son or husband or brother or father, their grief and pain at his loss is strongest for them, and it is so clear on their faces. These photos hurt the most. They show that, no matter how high the honor, there is nothing that can repay their sacrifice.

So every day that I go in there, my fingers get a little dirtier with newsprint. My knowledge bank grows a little bit more. My heart hurts a little bit more. But most of all, I gain more respect and understanding for the kind of man who would knowingly sacrifice himself to save his friends. That's what keeps me going back.





(the soldier in this photo is Desmond Doss, and I'm going to tell you his story because it's amazing. He's actually from my area! Anyways, he was the only conscientious objector to win the medal in WWII. He was Adventist and refused to carry a weapon or fight or work on his sabbath (Saturday). So he got a position as a medic with a unit stationed near Okinawa. One day, his unit got in a bit of trouble, and he was the only medic left. He agreed to come help as soon as he finished his scripture study (bless!), and arrived to find his unit on a high cliff with no escape but down the cliff. He waited, under fire, and used a rope to lower 75 (75!) other people to safety. Only when all were safe did he leave his post and seek safety himself. There are also a couple of other incidents where he rushed in to treat mortally wounded soldiers in incredibly dangerous situations, and continuing treatment even after he himself was wounded.)

Some brilliant person scheduled the new season of Glee for the same night and time as Lost. I am NOT a fan.

This video is ridiculous in every way possible, and so is the song now that I think of it, but I LOVE it. Everyone should listen to it. But not too closely.

Also, there's no way to embed this in a way that fits the center column and doesn't overlap into the sidebar (I know you're sad you can't see all the tabs). Youtube fail.

Today I was switching purses because, you know, it's a new season, and I felt like a change. Even if I'm just switching back to the giant grey thing I carried all last winter. Anyways, I was transferring the "essentials", and I realized something ridiculous. My purse "essentials" include SIX DIFFERENT TYPES OF LIP GLOSS. Excessive much? I think so. But really not- you see, sometimes you want color (that's what the Clinique and Lancome are for), sometimes you just want shine (B&BW, and Estee Lauder), sometimes you want sparkle, which is different than shine (MAC), and sometimes you want the minty freshness of B&BW mentha lip gloss. I can't kick any of them out. I must be prepared for any and all potential lip situations.

So probably no one cares about this, but I just say the most impressive presentation I can remember. Today, in my digital libraries class, we started presentations of the two final projects. The projects were 1) report on an existing digital library, and 2) use the open source digital library program "Greenstone" to build your own digital library. Most of the projects are similar to mine, people have have little idea of what they're doing with the new software. BUT one student got it in a way which I can never hope to understand. The collection I built (and everyone else's) was very basic, mostly just a list of items, not much metadata (identifying information) or organization. Which is fine, that meets the requirements. This guy though, took it above and beyond, creating multiple access points for each item, so his collection is searchable by title, author, genre, blah blah blah. The items are presented in tables (noooo idea how he did that) and all his analysis was just above and beyond. We were all blown away, having communal text chat head explosion while he was presenting. I want to be him.

I was really grateful for conference this past weekend. In the Sunday afternoon session, I was sitting there, mind wandering, thinking (of all things) about Mary and Martha. The story of Martha being "cumbered about with many things" has always frustrated me (a few thoughts on that- many people demonize Martha for not dropping everything and joining her sister at the Savior's feet. I think that this is not the correct interpretation for the incident. Mary was doing what she thought best. Martha was serving others in the way she thought best [they had to eat, right?]. How can we possibly fault someone for performing a small but necessary service? I feel that the rebuke came to her not because of her choice of activity, but because of her momentary loss of focus. For a moment, instead of focusing on her act of service, she was overwhelmed by the unfairness of the situation and focused more on her sister's actions than her own. I take this story as an admonition to maintain focus and monitor my own motives instead of worrying about the motives of others). I was thinking about a friend and how this story applied to her situation, and then (I'm not sure on this, but I think it was) Elder Schweitzer stood up, not 5 minutes after I started following this mental thread and began to talk about Mary and Martha. Everything else aside, it was a very simple tender mercy- more of a spiritual nudge, really- showing me that I and my concerns are not unnoticed. Just something to say "hey, I know you're there", which is little enough, but, you know, timely and wonderful.

I'm Oprah.

I use Google Reader to keep up with my blog reading. Obviously, that never goes all that well since I often go weeks or months without checking it (mostly because I know that when I log back in, I'll be met with daunting hoards of unread entries). That being said, I still love Reader because it makes my life so much simpler. I love you Google. With all of my tiny, shriveled heart.

Here are some things I've been enjoying recently (some of which I just barely remembered that I loved):

1. The Sartorialist is an amazing blog by sales rep turned accidental fashion photographer Scott Schuman. It started simply as a place to post photos of people he met around town whose style he admired, and not long after was included by Time magazine as one of today's 100 top design influencers. Now, obviously I am no style hound. What I love about this blog is the simplicity of his portraits: usually a lone person standing on a downtown street (most often in NYC, Paris, or Milan), without artificial lighting, some posed, some candid, and always inspiring. I do love this London girl though- she has a muff!



2. Picture Stories by Stephen Alvarez is another great photography blog (weird, I'm seeing an unexpected trend. Maybe it's time to start a new hobby) that I found one dry summer day in Utah when look for a picture of perfect, foggy, rolling smoky mountain-y Tennessee to put on my desktop. The winner was one of Mr. Alvarez', who (as I found after exploring his blog) lives a short distance away from me (hence the lovingly rendered portraits of Tennessee). Apparently he's a photographer for National Geographic, with an interest in cave photography (especially when said caves contain water, which results in ridiculously dangerous situations I imagine, but spectacular photos). Browse around, there are some really fascinating photo essays, and lots of what I'm sure is great discussion about the business of being a photographer (which I usually skip over because, hello, I have no idea what he and his guest posters are talking about). Oh and yeah, some amazing photos.



3. DOCTOR WHO has been my official obsession for the last several months, but I've come to the end of available episodes (until Easter, when the new season with the new Doctor premieres). Netflix is both a blessing and a curse. Anyways, Doctor Who is the longest running sci-fi show on tv. Of course, it hasn't been consistently on the air since it debuted in the mid-60s, but it was recently revived (in 2004, I think) and has been going strong since then. From what I gather, it's something of a national obsession (if British morning news is to be believed) over there, but hasn't really gained as wide an audience here. Yet. If you like British humor, really terrible special effects, sometimes brilliant writing, or random unexpected guest appearances by people like Derek Jacobi (squeal!) or Kylie Minogue, you need to watch this spectacularly addicting show. Oh yeah, did I mention the geeky charm of David Tennant?


4. Finding out that Paper Source carries bookbinding supplies (board, cloth, tools, etc...). I'm not sure why I didn't realize this earlier, but in my defense, it IS rather hidden away on their site.

5. Potato tacos! When I was in California and in the throes of my obsession with Mexican food, I made these at least once a week, but haven't broken this out for years now They're so unexpected (before I ate real Mexican food, potatoes never crossed my mind as a filling for tacos). I usually use 3-4 potatoes, cooked till soft, and mixed with about 1/4-1/3 cup of shredded chicken. Toss in a couple of tablespoons of crema mexicana or sour cream if you can't find it (which is unlikely because even Walmart carries it) to hold it together, a couple of tablespoons of queso cotija (again, Walmart) which is basically Mexico's answer to parmesan cheese, some salt, some pepper, and smash it all together. Never use store-bought taco shells. They are the worst. Heat some oil in a skillet, fill corn tortillas with 2-3 tablespoons of your potato mixture (keeping it to the middle so it doesn't splatter in your eyes while they're cooking) and fry on both sides till brown. Serve with lettuce of chopped cilantro or salsa or whatever your heart desires. Just eat them. Authentic and delicious.

I don't have anything exciting to blog about right now.

Just a warning.

Last night I saw "Alice in Wonderland". I'm not really a fan of Tim Burton (or Helena Bonham Carter these days, except when she's ridiculous Bellatrix...or to be honest Johnny Depp, I'm not sure his career is going where he thinks it is right now) so I was not awaiting this premiere with baited breath, but you know how I love movies in general, and especially movies at midnight. They're just better.

That being said, I was really impressed. I was not creeped out as I thought I would be, it was hilarious, the costumes were insane (in the best way possible), the beasts were cuddly, the mouse carried around an eyeball for most of the movie, Mia Wasikowska has the cutest accent imaginable, Johnny Depp was...orange, Helena Bonham Carter had pigs and monkeys in place of table or chair legs, and...I want to watch it again already. Always a good sign.

So in summary, I'm mad they only had 3D and it cost me $13, but it was mostly worth that much.

All I write about these days are movies, I'm sorry. My life just isn't all that exciting. I dog-sit. I do homework. I have class on the internet (gag me). I sew. I have weekly Glee night. I gossip. I read. I volunteer. Have I written about that yet?

I started volunteering a while ago at two museums in the area. One, the National Medal of Honor Museum, has a separate archive where I spend a few hours each week. It's a tiny museum located in the local mall for the time being because the old location was a moldy flooded nightmare. The other, the Hunter Museum of American Art, is a larger, more financially sound institution where I work in the library each week. The main volunteer is Frances. She's been there for 30 years, is in her 80's, can't hear anything I say, and is rather charming. They still use a card catalog (which they are outgrowing...I keep wanting to tell them just to scrap it all and try something a bit more modern, but the curators prefer this...I have no idea why), and I do a bit of cataloging, book repair, filing, whatever. It's small but it's something to do.

I had a job interview the other day at a local college as a records clerk/counselor/something. It's one of the few I've had since I've been here, and actually went really really well. I dread job interviews. They usually go horribly, I can never think of good answers, and I always leave feeling completely stupid. This however, left me feeling brilliant. There were six people there to interview me (overkill? I think so...), which was ridiculously intimidating, but I managed to control my nervous shaking and present a calm exterior and give great answers to all the questions. I even made them laugh. It was wonderful. The thing is, I haven't heard back yet. It's been almost two weeks now. They warned that it would take a while, but I can't help but be nervous. They had 200 applicants, about 50 of whom had Master's degrees already. I suspect the only reason I got an interview was because I (apparently) know one of the administrators (I didn't even realize this until after I submitted the application, and to be honest, I didn't even remember applying or what in the world the job was when they called to set up the interview) but anyways, still waiting to hear back on that. It would really be ideal. I think that it would be similar in a lot of ways to working at IS. Only, obviously, it would pay much more.

BUT. Right now, I'm really unsure whether I even want this job or not. I have no idea what I would say if they called me tomorrow (which they won't because it's a Saturday) and offered me the job. Why? Because I've already been offered a paid internship this summer at the National Energy Technology Laboratory (heavens, what a mouthful) library. It's not really in the area I want to go into, but it's in an area of librarianship that is higher paying, and probably easier to get into. And, all that aside, it's experience (which I don't have, but need) and it pays real money (which I don't have, but need). If I took a full-time job right now, there is no way I could take ten weeks off this summer to live in West Virginia. Also, I've recently been to a national lab. And who mostly works in labs? Men. Attractive ones. So. Full-time job, temporary security, or no full-time job, start substitute teaching next week, and make myself more valuable to future employers. Which is more important. I have no idea. Please tell me.

So this post basically started off stupid, became inane, and just got really long.

Guess what? Spring break is next week. I HAVE A SPRING BREAK. Take that, world.

"Shutter Island"

quote of the day:

"If I sank my teeth into your eyeball, would you be able to stop me before I blinded you?"

Martin Scorsese, may I please send you a puppy or some sunflowers or something? Because your mind is clearly getting much too dark. And it scares me.

Also, your soundtrack is a little heavy handed. The final scene would have been much more effective if it was silent.

I made this new background with this program that I lurrrrve (http://mugtug.com/sketchpad/) but it only allows you to create images in one size, so I had to enlarge it so that it would fit in my background, but the resolution is quite low, so now it's all blurry and I don't know what to doooo.

Waa.

I feel like I should post more so that I can give my tags homes. So there's not just one post linked to each one. But that's probably the wrong reason to post. I don't really have anything interesting to say.

Yesterday was one of the coldest days of my life.
I wrote one paper yesterday, one today, and I'll have another one going tomorrow.
Just that, and there's really nothing missing to say, but...

little buddy what you want, some violent...

Dear calendar-

When I bought you, I had high hopes for the year. You were to inspire me to learn more about art nouveau, and feed my shamelessly romantic (in the traditional sense again, not the modern sense) leanings. So far, things aren't going too well for you. Luckily, a new month is coming soon, and you will have another chance to prove yourself. February can't come a moment too soon, because THIS just isn't cutting it.

Love,
Jessica.

So I was rereading an old post and I said I would post a video of Madea's crazy version of the bible when I found one. Well I found on, but it's not actually from the movie ("I can do bad all by myself") but from a play. So it's not quite as good, but I love the flow from story to story. watch it here!

Why do I have two blogs?! WHY?!?!?!

Dear What Not to Wear:

I'm REALLY glad you're starting a new season. I was getting really tired of watching the weepy ballerina episode over and over again. Some comments:

Stacy, lay off the Mystic Tan. Or, if you refuse, wear a darker shade of lipstick.

Clinton, I want to hug you and then pinch your cheeks. Never change.

Ted, I miss Nick. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?!

Carmindy, "tooken" is most decidedly not a word.